1. |
I Hate...Myself
01:05
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I hate myself I want to die
Hate myself
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2. |
Finding Peace
04:34
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I came into my own when I lost my mind
the best thing I ever did was consider suicide
My entire identity is wrapped up in death
such a pitiful emergence pride
the funny thing is that I still don’t give a fuck
If I live or if I die
so put your hands together
this life is only shit
I might fucked up
but atleast I know when to quit
quitting time is when you have nothing left
I lost everything that I love
How fucking poetic
another depressed musician
talentless at best
and another mission
I still don’t care what you have to say
each song has meaning to me
and I still don’t care about all your standards
misery is and always be omnipresent
every day is still an eternity in this life
I wish could give it up
but I still miss you
still miss you with all of my heart
I just can't feel whole
Still I miss you with all of my heart
just take me home
I wish I could you the scars in my brain
I’ve got a fucking problem
and nothing will ever change
Whats wrong with an eternity in hell
Infinite abyss
and there’s time to dwell
Focus on what matters most
learn to rot, parasite and host
Let emotion take its toll it doesn’t matter anymore
I never had a soul
bleed until my time is up, exit existence
Let pain be temporary
still miss you with all of my heart
I just can't feel whole
Still I miss you with all of my heart
just take me home
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3. |
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Band aids smell like Fucking home
I remembered who I was
In the end I'm all alone
No one really cares
Once you’ve scared them away
Too many problems
a life in the fray
Every one that I trusted
Was never here to stay
My blood can't turn black
When my whole life is gray
Surrounded concepts
Depression is normal
But I'm not fucking average
I’m not a fucking average
I don't want help
This is who I am
I haven't felt this alive in years
Spoiled by the imminence
I have no fears
Pure dopamine in the rush
Concealing for your sake
The sting the next day is just as good
Concealing for your sake
What's wrong you?
You had a bad day?
Well so did everyone else.
Show me how much you hate yourself
You’re still happy to be breathing
Maybe I’ll be happy when I die
No one in your life stays
And everyone fucking dies
I wish I could show you how everyone dies
I wish I could show you how everyone’s all alone
All alone
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4. |
Meds
02:36
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I can't sleep for the third day
generics have got me puking my guts out
I keep taking these pills
Thinking that I'll calm down
Max the dosage and I'm no different
The pressure the pressure
Sertraline and Citalophram have got my veins exposed
The walls are turning red
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5. |
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I'm always itching from these half healed memories
The person in the mirror isn't what I hoped to be
I'm just a walking, never sleeping, barely breathing shell of what I'm supposed to be
With the deepest if regrets I push on hoping for a day of happiness
I'm always itching from these half healed memories
The person in the mirror isn't what I'd hopes to be
I'm worthless for anything
Just Stuck in my own mind
No one really cares
When you're too old to be saved
And you don't care about
How I fell between the lines like everyone else
It wasn't worth it, it was never worth it
Believe me I'm still a liar believe me always
And bleed me, yeah cut me deep I need to feel the pain
I'm still itching at night
All my clothes soaked through
No one will ever notice
I'm on fire, help me I'm on fire
I'm always itching from these half healed memories
The person in the mirror isn't who I hoped to be
I fell between the lines like everyone else
It wasn't worth it, it was never worth it
I'm still stuck in the same ruts with no way out
I hope your happy, at least someone got what they wanted
Believe me I'm still a liar believe me always
And bleed me, yeah cut me deep I need to feel the pain
I'm still itching at night
All my clothes soaked through
No one will ever notice
I'm on fire,I'm on fire
I'm just a failure
Always alone
Some day I'm going to end this
And cut my wrists to the bone
I'm still itching the next day
No matter how I end up I'm still a failure
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6. |
Still Bleeding
02:07
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This isn’t something new
somethings never change
I’ve finally got the courage
Finally have the strength
You say I’m a coward
But its my choice to make
Rather than living a lie
I’ll just fall from grace
Ever since I was a child
I’ve this plan
Grab a razor
draw a bath
This isn’t a joke
But I’m still laughing
What’s wrong with me?
I’m still waiting
For my life to change
I could wait forever
But I’ll always be this deranged
Tonight's the night
That I do things right
I’m wont screw up
But I’ll see the light
A noose is too poetic
and a gun isn’t me
A single blade with two deep cuts
is all I really need
My eyes shutter
until my heart stops
but in the meantime
In ecstasy
I’m Still Bleeding
I’m Still Bleeding
I’m Still Bleeding and I’m all alone
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7. |
Stranger
04:08
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8. |
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Everything that I lost
was my fault in the end
Even though I’m giving everything I’ve got
I lost every friend
It never was because I wasn't trying
Work my hands to the bone
I feel like I’m dying
I just have never been good enough
I never was good enough
I miss who I used to be
and now thats gone forever
I just can’t help myself
there’s just too much pressure
Feigning happiness every day
to help everyone get by
Its only harmless
but it still is a lie
A lie I’ve been living for far too long
I am weak only when I am strong
I miss who I used to be
and now thats gone forever
I just can’t help myself
there’s just too much pressure
I fucking changed
And there’s no going back
I fucking changed
Now I hate myself, Now I hate myself
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9. |
Wishing
04:42
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Drunk on death
Apathetic indulgence
Divine self pity
Eternal Wallowing in a sea of filth
An unplanned child grown old
Still a fuck up
Trying my best
Always choking on my words
Always wishing I wasn't this way
Always wishing
I wish I had all the blood in the world
So my heart could never stop pumping
Its frantic rhythm increases
As my veins writhe in the oxygen
It feels so good to bleed
with a cold blade deep inside you
The finality is so beautiful
But my second order desires
Are still strong
I wish I wasn't death obsessed just to make you proud
I'm so selfish
Maybe one day I'll dig myself out of this hole
Maybe one day I'll make you so happy
Maybe one day I'll dig myself out of this hole
Maybe one day I'll be happy
Don't get your hopes high
I always disappoint
And I promise it wont happen
At least I tried
Forgive me for how useless I am
I swear its not on purpose
I'm trying my best, I really am
Just give me one last chance
I'm still waiting for my life to change
I'm still wishing I could save my life
I'm still waiting for my life to change
I'm still wishing I could save my fucking life
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10. |
I Want...to Die
01:20
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This time I'll do things right
and I am not okay tonight
I hate myself and I want to die
I want to die
And no one fucking understands
Its fucking funny
That I fucking hate myself
and I want to die
I want to die
There isn't enough fucking blood in the world
to make this empty fucking pit full
I want to die
I want to die
I hate myself and I want to die
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