We Laugh Because It Hurts Too Much to Cry

by Colorless

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1.	Suffer Quietly (free) 02:17	lyrics	download
I can't take it anymore Isolated for too long I've been Broken I've failed I can't nick the vein Can't make the step Can't Win
2.	Ennui 03:42	lyrics	buy track
My mind is a minefield And I'm waking up dead I can't get these thoughts Get these thoughts out of my head My mind is haunted And these days are so lonely My screams are silenced And my heart will never be free Trying To Fix Break Mend Feel Can't Ever Fix Can't Ever See The end I'm so broken There is no empathy nor is there compassion Why is there so much pain entwined within my being When did I ask for the distance from my reality I've lost track of what is real When dreams and days blend together Wait Fuck you all I've seen hell I know hell
3.	Loveless 04:00	lyrics	buy track
Trust me, the trust has disappeared Believe me, because I don't believe in myself Love me, because no one else will Leave me, I wish I could leave my self Confrontation has been lost The skin splits and breaks Not single day is lacking Every night open the box I keep all these secrets trapped inside locked velvet As it mirrors the rain on the window The edge dissipates fractally destroying itself Completely void of pain You know I really loved you So my heart is torn You know I really loved hurting myself Every single day when you left my life it was the only thing that ever really helped You know I really loved you But you never cared much I write your name in blood Because scars never scared you I trusted you with everything Gave you the only thing I had I know I'll never be alright again The only cure is to cut the skin
4.	Self Harm Addict 04:00	lyrics	buy track
I was never the object of your affection I was always such a bother Finally someone had completely broken me I fucking cried myself to sleep at night For the first time in years You let me feel everything I would let myself I finally trusted someone And with you the harm was always normal I was lying to myself and everyone Self affirming my own condition Ritualized Self Destruction Control but never in control Drained until empty I only made it obvious but it was still hidden Were my lies convincing Or did you say get over it Why don't you try being happy Intra vascular Damage Bleeding Running out of skin Reopening day old wounds Getting the chance to go deeper Daily monotony Tearing my life apart Addiction is cheap Self loathing never was so easy The only thing that's kept me stable I could care less if its killing me
5.	Grey Orchid 04:03	lyrics	buy track
Fuck you, you'll never get it Never hear my voice My deep set eyes see right through Your spiked hand of guidance The lie you live The God you push The razor digs so deeply Fulfilling this wish The chemical imbalance is heightened The impending reality takes its toll I get it, I wasn't what you wanted You helped me peel the skin back I once had high hopes But demanding sense of normalcy Left me in exsanguination I hope you remember I hope you remember Pretend you knew me for who I was Outpatient therapy to dull the pain Someday we'll be blood brothers I was never any good at this game I hope you feel everything that I felt I hope you see The not in the rope fits tightly So there will be no pain This was your fault The cuts dulled the pain I hope you never get over it I hope you feel alone
6.	Crimson 04:27	lyrics	buy track
Hell is watching yourself fail for the last time Only to to be stuck Hell is knowing there is no way out of this maze Not enough blood Broken Lost Always Lost Broken Just like I always planned With your name written on the wall Without love I'm truly alone I'm always I'm always alone At least I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry that I did this to you But there wasn't another option I'm sorry But I'm still digging deeper and deeper Hopefully I won't wake up Just a couple more inches And I will be done Suddenly the pain starts to fade I can start to see the end My thoughts are slowly slipping My mind focuses on just one memory When you and I were hiking on the back hill You said that I looked happy Now I feel the same warmth I've failed
7.	White Raven 02:09	lyrics	buy track
The obvious hurt is cloaked in a dull and numb grey frequency Facial muscles learn the appropriate contortions Fleeting eye contact, constantly disappearing No one expects a person like this to make it this far Blending becomes less obvious People care less There's no reason to believe that anything is wrong There is some solace in end of the unintentional burden on the ones we hold dear But every passing day becomes more lonely Every day the facade becomes easier to wear, yet harder to swallow Everyday the subtle cries for help go more unnoticed Psychosocio progress is never truly a reality, merely an appearance Like a cheap faux brick wall over a rotten shell Should anyone actually inquire it might be obvious But awareness is wasted on the desperate and the broken White ravens are often neglected by their social groups because of their abnormalities Oftentimes killed by their mothers or picked apart by their peers Maybe if they could only cloak themselves Maybe they would live normal lives maybe they would still be ashamed maybe they would still needlessly hate themselves Maybe they would choose to be alone Maybe they would die alone Maybe I am alone I know I'm alone I'm sorry, I'm alone Maybe there was a time where you heard me Maybe I've always been alone
8.	Watch The Years Go By (Interlude) 01:29	lyrics	buy track
I watch the leaves fall And listen to the wind blow I watch the leaves fall And watch the years go by
9.	Getting To This Point 02:30	lyrics	buy track
Believe for once that this wasn't your fault Getting to this point wasn't exactly easy And it wasn't apart of the plan But by some stroke of luck we failed But that's no reason to give up Hitting rock bottom was all we had There was no other path for growth But being alone was never so bad Finding strength to push on I will always love you Even when you hate me Believe for once Believe in yourself when no one else will Realize that this is the worst is behind you I know that Never made it easy Just know that I will never let you down
10.	It's Fine 03:40	lyrics	buy track
It's fine, i just can't be strong for everyone all of the time If it upsets you to see me break Down I'm sorry I've got a backbone, but it's only made of glass Most days are an internal struggle I've tried my best to be emotionally void I can't really understand I can't show you what I'm feeling I hope you never see what Ive become bottling all my frustration The only thing I seem to understand is my never ending descent into the darkest places My mind sinking like a rock to the bottom of the ocean The light disappears I know I'm alone in this No mater who helps For this life and it's struggles are my own I'm still ashamed of who I was and who I am but This is life, this is love, is death There is no comfort in the knowledge Of the inevitable Only greater longing for understanding that is matched only by The fear of hurting someone else I'm fine I swear I'm fine ( I know I'm alone) The best day of my life was the day I decided to end it and all I could think about in that moment was the promises I made to the people I love The choices that lead me to this This are my last words, I won't let you down I swear its fine I swear its fine I'm fine
11.	Futures 03:25	lyrics	buy track
False hope is in the forefront of my mind Someday it will take my breath away Someday it will help me find I wish that you could see My skin is aching again But heart beats true And my fingers are itching to rip it out But I am strong because of you You know I think you decided to trust me I just wish it didn't take so long You know that your mind is perfect, even if its only to me I'm still standing right beside you The future is only as far as we can see We'll stop getting tripped up in our endings We'll learn to live today We'll lean to live today I will stand beside you
12.	What's Haunted You 04:44	info	buy track
13.	Circa 2008 04:33	lyrics	buy track
And every day I've watched you fade away But you'll never beat that light out if me And times they are changing But not for the better I wish I could make good on my promises You know I never stopped I never gave up But my skin's still sore, my skin's still sore but I'm still here This path isn't void of struggle There's more to life than making ends meet I've failed a thousand times But I'm always back on my feet But resilience is the only way When you've got no one to fall back on Is the glimmer in your eye Did you lose the sense of home Let yourself feel everything Let yourself feel everything This path isn't void of struggle There's more to life than making ends meet I've failed a thousand times But I'm always back on my feet I still miss our past more than anything But you'll never get it back The childhood picture you had melted long ago Pushed into situations you couldn't have seen I'm sorry you feel so stuck I'm sorry that there's no way out And every day, I've watched you fade away The plot of life was never so bright But I found myself and I found myself Your heart was strong when I needed it most And in the end, and in the end we're in control
14.	We Laugh 04:34	lyrics	buy track
I never feel whole when I'm alone I still struggle with my emotions I haven't changed since we first met When I'm with you, I feel alive Lately I lost track of myself I don't think anyone anymore And that's okay because the person because I'm still so fucked up But it's sad because I can't cry anymore I'm not alone, but I still feel When you're a million miles away and things aren't, they aren't the same We laugh because it hurts too much We laugh because it hurts too much to cry But I still love you We laugh because it hurts too much to cry And I still hate myself Do you remember when we'd do anything to see each other Back when money and sleep didn't matter I never feel whole when I'm alone I still struggle with my emotions I haven't changed since we first met When I'm with you, I feel alive We laugh because it hurts too much to cry We laugh because it hurts too much to cry But I still love you We laugh because it hurts too much to cry And I still hate myself
15.	It Hurts Too Much 06:42	lyrics	buy track
Maybe it isn't that I couldn't write anything happy, but rather that the only way I could express everything is through my sorrow. That something in your life is so beautiful And so precious that the thought of losing it makes you feel So empty and dead inside that your eyes instinctively tear up when you think about how much it matters to you Maybe you're too though, maybe you've lost touch with your emotions because society told you to. Maybe You won't let yourself feel anymore. Whatever it is, I'm sorry and I really hope you let yourself feel all the pain you've neglected, I hope it hasn't been years. Without that experience you'll never truly be whole, and without it you'll still hurt But I wish I was only as selfish as to take the advice I give because my desires are my burdens and I wish for once that someone would see that my sacrifices aren't purely for my Own benefit, that they are an extension of my willingness to forego pleasure, to give up my existence in the hopes that it will help someone sing. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm so afraid of today that I'd rather be miserable forever so that there might be one day of solace for us all. Please forgive the dreamer in me, because that is is the only the only thing that keeps my heart pumping. I know I'm foolish and I know I dream like a child. But that's why I laugh. I laugh because it hurts too much to cry

about

"We Laugh Because it Hurts Too Much To Cry" is Colorless' sophomore full length album debuting in December 2016. Low quality by today's standards, but it has some funky riffs. This album actually has a bass guitar on it, unlike the last one. Enjoy.

credits

released December 16, 2016

I want to thank my good friends: Brock Banse-Fay, Ian Elder Tyler Merindino, Alex Simpson, my boys from Red Light (Mike, Pat, Riley, & Noah), Liz and Sean (sorry about the scary noises in your attic), as well as the countless other bands and persons who have helped to keep Colorless alive and well. I could not be more thankful for every single one of you and I hope you all live wonderful fruitful lives.

Artwork by Flesh and Bone Design - www.fleshandbonedesign