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about

Digging, through pages of my old life
I can’t help but feel ashamed
but the self perpetuating cycle is infinite

Have we reached a higher echelon?
The stains distinct from the scars?

I fear that we are stuck in a loop
Existing only with subtle differences

I can’t fucking get out
there really only is one answer
put the barrel in my chest
bring color to this world

As the bullet goes through me
Oh light and a 3rd person experience
an imperfect body
barely recognizable

the past two years have made me different
I blacked out every mirror so I couldn’t see myself

I’m a stranger at my own funeral
I wouldn’t have it any other way

I’m a stranger at my own funeral
I wouldn’t have it any other way

there is no god in death
No bliss or ending of pain
Just eternity in time
Life without interaction

I always wanted this

Infinitiy is far more irking
than the living can understand
once you leave your body
there is no understanding

finite minds are highly incapable
damned from the beginning
the closest thing to hell

How disappointing, the most critical point in my existence
the beginning of degradation, the beginning of degradation.

credits

from I Hate Myself and I Want to Die, released December 13, 2014

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Colorless Western, New York

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